Larry writes 2/1/2002 to say:
I tried to send you a mail to world.com but it got returned. I figured I'd just wait until you surfaced. I've been in Beijing for about two months. Just playing hockey and skanking the local population. Managed 7 goals in one game last week - a lifetime record and probably equal to all my the goals put together over the last two months. Credit a weak defense on the opposing side. My parents moved to West Windsor, NJ in October - home of the anthrax virus. I was in San Francisco at that time - renting my house out there to new tenants. The girl you met with me last year is getting married - to another RPI grad!
8/18/2002
Hope you've been having a great summer. I'm back in New Jersey now (thanks for the Christmas card!), staying at my parent's new house near Princeton. (Know that mailbox that was used to send the anthrax virus quite well and passed it just before they discovered the spore traces last week.) My parent's new house is great, very comfortable and I've been playing tennis and ping pong with their neighbors almost every day. There are 40 Chinese families here so I've even got some language partners. Unfortuantely, everyone is over 55, so no budding romances. (Though there are some hecka good looking older Chinese women, alas all married, in the community)
Had a scare two weeks ago when my Father was choking in a restaurant. Luckily, a young girl with lifeguard training, jumped up and did a Heimlich maneuver which probably saved his life. (I tried two times myself but was afraid of exerting too much pressure at first.)
I just spent about 8 mounths in China with a 5 week vacation in Indonesia. Indonesia was pretty horrible. Too hot, not particularly friendly, and lacking the color and pageantry of India. But the food was good, and the active (smoking not spewing) volcano was pretty neat. The "paradise" island " of Bali was pretty disappointing. My current idea is that I try the Philippines next.
11/20/2002
As for me, I'm off for China on December 2nd. Probably stay in Shenzhen, near Hong Kong, until my friend either talks me into marriage or throws me out. Then perhaps on to Beijing to repeat the process and get some hockey games in. Still playing tennis in NJ and hockey at Princeton is pretty cool. RPI just lost to Princeton the other night, this always seems to happen, though I haven't had a chance to see it in person recently. Nice dinner beforehand with the alumni. I have my 25th high school reunion coming up - should be interesting since I hated those folks and they hated me.
2/27/2004
Hello to all my RPI friends,
It is only fitting that I write this mail having just listened to the RPI alma mater on WRPI during the 1st intermission break of the RPI-Princeton game. Just wish it didn't mean getting up so early in China to listen to the Webcast. Anyway, and the big news is... I got married to my girlfriend of the last 3 years, Fatima WU on February 18th. Fatima was born in Beijing, grew up in the Buddhist mountain town of Emei, studied electro-mechanics and Arabic and was a translator in Iraq before the first war. She now has a foreign trade company in the southern China city of Shenzhen where we are now. Doing everything backwards. Had our honeymoon in Myanmar (formerly Burma) in January, married in February, wedding bands after the marriage and still engagement ring shopping.
Herein, are some of my marriage details since I'm sure my big news perhaps created some questions. We only set the February 18th date recently. It was marked as auspicious on the Chinese calender. Not exactly sure why, but one reason may be that 2-18, pronounced in Chinese, means two get rich. I slept like a baby the night before but was thinking of bailing out that day. The ceremony was performed in a non-descript office not too far from our home, forgot to bring a camera. Filled out some forms, had our documents looked over, and were asked if we were willing to marry. Perhaps the guy was happy that I spoke Chinese, made his job a bit easier.
The office doing the ceremony is only used by foreigners marrying Chinese, so it was quite empty, no waiting. Big poster of Chinese marriage law on the wall. I didn't read it and forget to ask if there was a take away copy. (Chinese take-out!) The official asked Fatima to read her marriage declaration form, and motioned for her to keep reading, even as he took a phone call. We each got a little, red book (not Mao's) with the double happiness symbol and a photo of the two of us that is the official marriage certificate.
The groom was dressed in black pants and his favorite Luka Barryan shirt. (It was too hot that day for a tie) The bride had on a red sleeveless blouse, with matching sweater and a black skirt. The only witness to the ceremony was a guy trying to send a fax from the office where we were married.
We then walked back towards home going through a nearby park. I spent most of the time mentioning how strange and not altogether comfortable I felt being married. Fatima didn't seem to mind and, as is her habit, spent most of the time pointing out pretty girls to me. (Her, probably correct idea, is that it's better to share the girl-watching together, rather than forcing furtive glances.)
We had our wedding lunch, just the two of us, at a Sichuan restaurant where we had had our first date three years ago. Braved bird flu and had Kung Pao chicken, garlic baby greens and another dish I can't recall at the moment.
Tried to carry her over the threshold back at home, but the normal carries were too difficult, she was just a bit too too heavy for me. So, I draped her over my back and with a 2 inch fireman's lift, got her across before my back gave out.
Livia (Fatima's niece) had thought we were just going out to handle some paperwork and was marginally surprised when we got back. Her first question was when we were leaving for America - she's terrified that she's not ready to take over the business. We assured her that it wasn't going to happen anytime right away. Fatima has been gracious enough let me go back to the US alone sometime in the next 6 months since I miss home. We'll see whether we try to get a temporary visa for her to join me. The green card process is much longer, a year or more, and we may not apply right away.
Fatima actually had to meet with a customer that afternoon so we had a little nap and she went on her way, while I downloaded the Wedding March from the web. Met her neice for dinner at an exceedingly unfancy Xi'an style restaurant. One of the two meals, or perhaps the large quantity of very spicy food, didn't agree with me too well, but the food poisoning was manageable.
Had a very restless first night while Fatima slept like, as we say in Chinese, a dead pig. Kept waking up and realizing that I was married and it felt very uncomfortable. But, I felt better by the morning and no particular lingering doubts at the moment.
Went to Hong Kong yesterday for ring shopping. I spent several hours learning about diamond purchasing using the Web and the information was exceedingly helpful. The shopping was really fun, walking out on a few stores who were either very ignorant or trying to make up stories. The most egregious was a salesmen who had a diamond without a GIA certification. I asked him for the depth and table measurements and he quoted me 58% and 60% after eyeing the ring with a loupe. When I asked to see a 2nd diamond, with a GIA, I asked him to repeat the same feat of measuring acumen without first looking at the numbers on the certificate. He refused and out of the store we went. A number of salespeople were astounded at the information I had (all downloaded from US on-line diamond retailers) I also got a copy of the Rappaport diamond report which list current prices with a formula based on the 4 C's.
The upshot is that we learned a lot, (even Fatima who's not very good with numbers) but decided to pospone the engagement ring purchase until our next trip to Hong Kong. We already know the setting we want and I will probably buy a loose stone to have it set so that we can get the size we want.
We did buy wedding bands. They are white gold, with diagonal, tiny marcasite-like bands and with a tiny ring of yellow gold at the top and bottom. Fatima liked another ring better, gold top and bottom, with marcasite interior that looked like diamonds. But, I convinced her, and she agreed, that it would have been too feminine for me. Also rejected rings that contained diamonds for me a well, for the same reason.
Didn't call back to the US rgiht after the ceremony because it would have been late in the US and I figured my parents wouldn't get any sleep and it was too late to "alert the media" Called that night from China and Mom's happy "Larry got married to Fatima" call-out to Dad will always be in my memory of the day. Talked to Fatima's parents that night too. I had only talked to her Mom briefly once before and never to her Father. Fatima had kept me at a low profile just in case the relationship didn't work out. I said hello to her Father, he grunted. I said I probably should have asked him first for her hand in marriage (not a Chinese custom) and he grunted a 2nd time. I handed the phone back to Fatima.
I will probably come back to New Jersey for a visit sometime between May and September but don't know when yet or whether it will be just me or the two of us.
Regarrds,
Larry Wu and Fatima Finkel (haven't contemplated any name changes yet)
More Larry News:
Hi Dave,
Thanks for your mail. Fatima and I probably should have head up to Curt Sjolander's farm after Reunion, over to Boston, up to Maine to eat diseased lobsters, etc. though we just headed back to NJ.
The Reunion was OK - though quite disappointing for a 25th reunion. Hardly anyone showed up, I was the only one from the Physics Dept. Did see Alan Stein, Curt, and a few others that I've become friends with mostly just from Reunion. My advice - if you want a lot of people to attend, put the heat on them beforehand.
Not sure about a Boston trip, though it's a possibility I suppose. My parents are doing a family get-together next weekend and then it's onto July 4th (perhaps Boston Pops, etc!) Fatima's ticket is to go back on July 13th and I don't know if I'll go with her. Depends on my NJ tenants, Frequent Flyer seats etc. What's your schedule look like?
California house is just settling down. The asbestos was taken out last week! Just the extra amount of stress I needed. I was kidding last week after the mold and the asbestos that there would be an earthquake - that was before their were four of them!
Hey, where is Jeff Goldsmith these days? His name came up at Reunion. Maybe I should go to the 2006 Reunion, know so many of your class too.
Regards,
Larry
Hi,
Here's the poem we gave to my parents back in July:
There once was a couple, Mom and Dad,
Who feared the word "grand" would not be had.
So we took a trip to Troy And, we're not sure girl or boy.
But, you'd better start knitting like mad!!
At that point, all assembled broke into tears, except for the little rabbit shaped stripe on the EPT stick, who turned blue.
Well, the poem has now been updated:
Because of her age, what was best, Was to do a chromosome test. Out came baby juice And, when the results were let loose A baby girl comes from East meeting West!
Anyway, Mother and 6 month old fetus are doing fine. Fatima had the usual morning sickness for the first trimester which she was really hoping she could share with me. Then a recent 3-4 day bout with round ligament pain which kept her bedridden, unable to walk but which has also disappeared.
We are probably the only couple in China who knows the sex of their unborn infant since, for gender eugenics reasons, it is kept secret. Using the not altogether untrue reason that we would need to perform the Jewish ritual 8th day circumcision for a boy, we got the doctor to agree to tell us the gender beforehand. As she put it, "don't bother with the skin peeling" (the Chinese word for this fairly uncommon procedure) We have a print-out of 44 chromosomes, the final two deleted from the print-out to protect the technicians from legal trouble. But, we saw them on the screen. Actually, before being told, everyone was convinced that it was a boy.
Had a color ultrasound done the day before the amnio. It was soon clear that we were looking at a little baby head, spinal column, and little arms and legs. Just as the head came into focus, our little girl waved at us and then rubbed one of her eyes. Such a clever little girl. (In China, we say, "there is none better than your own child, and none better than the other guy's wife!")
Kicking commenced right on schedule. Fatima says she even feels she's getting kicked with a whole foot now, not just a little jab. If I tap on her belly, we can sometimes can a pugilistic conversation going. Had a couple of scary days right after the kicking started when the baby went quiet, but the doctor said she'd just turned around and was facing backwards. In other news, our business is starting to pick up again after our mid-year extended vacation left the sales force depleted. We are about to move to a new, much larger, apartment nearby and Fatima's parents will come down from
Beijing on November 20th to help out. It's November 8th and I'm still wearing shorts here in Shenzhen, so you've guessed correctly that it's 80 degrees outside. Fatima's steamed bun in the oven and work has limited my tennis and ice skating play time though I hope to get back to them in 18-20 years.
You are welcome to visit us in Shenzhen, hope you like baby sitting!
All the best,
Larry and Fatima
Larry writes on 4/5/2006 to say:
Hi Dave,
Thanks for your mail. I've been working my mail box, Last In, First Out,
meaning it's been difficult working my way down the list of 200 unanswered
mails. But, I have been meaning to write to you and of those 200, your
nameis the one that pops to the front most often. Perhaps we get an entry in
your monthly newsletter? (I actually haven't checked the most recent one,
but will do so after I send this mail.)
Fatherhood is great! The baby is 5.5 weeks old and is picking up newthings
every day. Today, she woke up, received my first kiss of the day, and gave
me a smile. Her Mom did the same thing and also got a smile. Seemedpretty
real. She's had her first outdoor adventure (Chinese Mom's and babies are
kept indoors for the first 30 days) and is a wolf when that milk bottlegets
near and she's hungry.
Lauren's mostly pretty well behaved, though at the start seemed like shewas
going to be a handful. She still needs a lot of cajoling to sleep. I
changed my first diaper a few days ago and she cooperated all the way. May
try to do Chinese-style toilet training soon - the goal to get her trained
at about 6 months, very common in China.
Fatima is doing fine. She has recovered well and is a fantastic Mom. We
did have a maid the first month which meant we slept at night. The baby
usually only gets up once. Last night, I even slept through that.
Otherwise, business is doing welll. Just about to head off to a big trade
fair. We just hired two new marketers so I can continue to work a half day
(per week). Just saw that MA has compulsive medical insurance now. Youmay
just get me as a neighbor! We're scheduled to come back to NJ on August
2nd, which is playing it quite close to when we think Fatima will get her
Green Card.
So, what's new there? How are Katie and her "dids" (both kids andjewelry)
Larry, Fatima and Baby Lauren
Larry writes 4/10 to Say:
Hi Dave,
_______________________________________________________________________
June 17 2006
Hi Dave,
Thanks for your reunion update. It solved one mystery I had wondered about
for years. There was a girl in my physics classes, Sally Lynn Asousa who I
had googled for years, but never came up with anything. I had thought she
was Class of '80, but there she is in the memorial list for Class of '81.
Pretty sad since she was obviously pretty young. Did you know her? Any
idea what happened?
By the way, that Memorial picture only downloads 1/3 of the way. Maybe you
can send it to me directly. It does seem like a high mortality rate for
only 25 years!
Funny how you guys eschew the whole reunion organization. Actually, I had
always wanted to do that since the prices they charge are fairly outrageous
and who knows who all those other people are anyway. Our class of '80
Reunions are definitely more of a family affair with wives and some kids.
And with wives around, you know they're not going to live in the dorms!
Anyway, we also only signed up for the Friday lunch and Saturday dinner.
So, a tantalizing Sherilee Host name-dropping. I only seem to flash to a
picture in my albums of a dimpled, round-faced girl with curly off-blond
hair and a simple dress. I also feel like this might have been a girlfriend
of one or more Rousseau inhabitants, right? Was she there? No pictures?
What is she doing now? (I don't remember if I told you about the recent
Exxon exploration commercial with Anne Reekman, the geology PhD student from
Australia who lived in Rousseau. She looked absolutely the same as 20 years
before. She may have been before your time or do you remember her?)
I guess you've never convinced Jeff Goldsmith to attend, huh? Perhaps too
far for a weekend journey. Has Bob Willis lost his virginity? I seem to
recall your saying that Brad got married and divorced? Does Eric really
look like the next reincarnation of Mr. Rodgers? Marty Connell looks like
the drummer and mascot from the Progressive Rock group Gentle Giant.
I will definitely consider the 2011 Reunion, though I'll have to figure out
to do with myself while you guys are gaming. Perhaps I can approach women
from the Class of '81 and say, "You remember me, right?"
My recent gaming addiction is Trackmania - a combination racing game with
quirky tracks that require some puzzle solving about getting from place to
place, a great ghost car implementation and good race physics, except when
you go airborne and Newton's Laws are broken by being able to control speed
and braking in the air! It's free and available from
www.trackmania.com
Anyway, we're fine here. Lauren is learning new tricks every day, including
how to be cranky. But, she's still a sweety and today's my first Father's
Day! Sent the birth announcement to the RPI magazine and they sent an RPI
blanket to my parent's house. That was nice. Won't be in the mag until
Summer.
Keep in touch,
Larry
From Larry, 4/28/08
Hi RPI Tuters, (sorry for the size of this e-mail, someone will have to explain
to me why 1.3 MB of pictures on my disk take 2.9MB on hotmail??)
Well, been meaning to write forever, and finally putting pen to paper, er, bits
to pixels. Before getting to the Baby Lauren chronicles, a little about her Mom
and Dad. My own recent history has been tinged with a bit of despair due to a
massive over-use injury to both my hips. A result of too much tennis and
hockey, I had to confront hysterically excessive pain for two nights, an almost
completely bedridden state for two months and now I'm finally able to spend a
day out shopping without too much discomfort. Sadly, any doctor who has seen
the X-Rays says my days of impact sports are over...
... which is exactly why I immediately tried to get my skating legs back in
Princeton. Did manage to progress from taking a few skating strides, to a light
warm-up, to scoring a garbage goal in front of the net all while trying not to
stretch out my legs or accelerate too quickly. Especially upsetting since a new
rink just opened 10 minutes from our home in China and with weekly open hockey
games. May try it soon. Haven't tried tennis yet, but that's next.
Unfortunately, this is severe, early-onset arthritis, which may be cured with a
relatively new (at least in the US) surgical procedure called hip resurfacing.
Have to wait for a new President to see if I can get medical insurance to cover
it or it's always off to India where they have 10 more years of experience with
the device and charge 10% of the US cost.
Our export company continues to meander along, taking a huge loss last year,
which only Fatima's Enron-style of thought experiment accounting (move expenses
to a previous year and unrecognized revenues to the current year) could turn
into a smaller loss which she calls a profit. You can take a look at
www.eleganthome.com.cn to see what we do. Just finished a big trade fair in
which our remote booth location meant for a less than ideal return on our
black-market booth purchase investment. However, should get some business from
our old customers and it's always entertaining to hear Fatima speaking Arabic,
shoof, shoof, take a look! Just got an order from a new customer in South
Africa today - I'm told we control the whole high-end stainless steel bathroom
accessory market via our current dealer there.
Speaking of investments, Fatima and her Father were guilty of throwing one or
more audit letters from the IRS in a drawer and then forgetting to tell me about
it. When I finally got a follow-on letter, it basically said pay US$16,000 in
underpaid back taxes and penalties or we take your house, a situation one web-sie
described as "a world of hurt" Not having any idea what it was about, I waited
out the weekend and made the world's most expensive wait on hold phone call to
the IRS to figure out what was going on. Did manage to then learn that I made
two stupid math mistakes on my stock market transactions in 2004, good for 50
blood pressure points and the aforementioned underreported capital gains.
Following a three-page explanation letter and several phone calls, the new
friendlier IRS acknowledged my assertion that I owed nothing, phew! Though I do
have less loss carry forward in the future for those who care to know how it all
worked out.
Taking advantage of the highest prices available in an over-heated bubble real
estate market in China, Fatima and I decided to buy an apartment with a fabulous
view overlooking Shenzhen Bay and over to Hong Kong. The house is already worth
well less than we paid for it, not counting the 5-star, rip it to the bare walls
and start all over renovation we have done. One year later and there are still
no doors on the closets and curtains on the windows, (let alone the bathroom
accessories that we make ourselves) but we do have a fabulous Western-style
kitchen with LG side-by-side refrigerator, full oven, coordinated dishwasher
which matches the cabinets and a garbage disposal. If you can find even one of
these items in any house in China, then you probably know more people than I
do. (not saying much since I just stay at home all day anyway and play
Trackmania United and MSN backgammon.) The baby's room is painted in a
Pittsburgh Paints color called Lauren's Lullaby complemented with a cute
overhead light with a Victorian Doll hanging on a swing, and spotlights in the
shape of the Big Dipper courtesy of the renovation team. Found a fabulous
over-stuffed couch at a reasonable price - not at all easy here. The hardwood
floors are a total maintenance disaster in dusty Shenzhen, but it's good we
didn't put carpet in since a typhoon last week sent water spilling into our
living room from our Mediterranean style porch. Our balcony garden is already
preparing to spew forth a cornucopia of everything but corn, including peppers,
bok choy, cilantro, pumpkin (which my Mother-in-Law thinks will hang from our
balcony trellis) basil, (enough plants to open a pesto factory) and these
lovely, juicy grapes which are only available in China.
And, now on to Parenting. The last two years have gone by way too quickly, with
Baby Lauren progressing from cell cluster to babbling cell cluster to all hell
breaks loose cell cluster. So, without further doo-doo, here are the
highlights:
When no means yes - Lauren was
practicing her teenage dating methods early by vigorously shaking her head "no"
when she really was thinking yes. This was very handy for her middle-age father
trying to chat up pretty women in the elevator by asking Lauren, "Is there a
prettier girl in the world than the one standing right next to me?" At which
point, Lauren would shake her head no. Lauren finally said "No" to crawling
and finally...
Learned to walk - To her Mom's
consternation, Lauren took a few months more than expectations to take her first
steps. She finally did so at about 14 months, rapidly traversing the 6 steps
between Mom and Grandma. After several successful launches and landings, she
took the final three steps of one attempt while crossing her arms in front of
her face and covering both eyes. Don't know whether she was showing off or
reacting in terror, but, no problem we'll ask her later in life what she was
thinking, because...
Lauren is a Memory Machine - It
has become apparent that Lauren has a pretty accurate memory for one so small.
She constantly brings up things from months before even though the topic was
never raised in the intervening time. Things like the maid smashing a bee and
the name of Einstein were no problem for her little storage unit to remember.
So, I asked her if she remembered the small, musical clown we hung above her at
the age of 6 months, and Lauren said..., "remember" How about the blanket that
we wrapped you in the first week after your birth..."remember" How about being
inside Mommy's tummy,... "remember" She impresses us once again with her memory
when we were bringing my in-laws back from the airport a few weeks ago and
repeated to her maternal grandmother...
Lauren's First Sentence - As her
language skills advanced, we were finally treated to a complete sentence.
History will record that Lauren first complete sentence was,
"Grandma"...."Teeth"...."Doesn't have any" This is in fact an accurate
statement which Lauren delivered in Chinese after seeing Grandma pull out her
dentures. After not seeing Grandma for two months, among Lauren's first words
to Grandma as we were driving from the airport were,
"Grandma"..."Teeth"...."doesn't have any" This was all in Chinese, but Lauren
is a fairly....
Bilingual Baby - Courtesy of the
majority of her surroundings, Lauren's predominant language is Chinese, but with
enough English thrown in to confuse anyone who doesn't know both languages. She
talks to her Grandma Li about thumbs (pronounced Chinese-style as "sums") and to
her Grandma Annette about "niao niao" leading to general confusion all around.
Anyway, Grandma Annette figured out pretty quickly that "niao niao" mean
"pee-pee" and Lauren made it easier on her by saying, "niao niao pee pee" This
last phrase being important because, in typical Chinese fashion, Lauren was, at
18 months, almost completely...
Toilet Training - In China,
starting at 6 months or even sooner, Chinese children are held over the toilet,
whistled to, and expected to cooperate with a "niao niao" (see how easy that
word was to learn - if not pronounce) Lauren has been reasonably adept at the
task which has saved us countless diapers. It helps that in China, 99% of the
great outdoors is considered fair game for a short, toddler bathroom break. To
have output, you need to have input, so it's time to discuss...
Lauren's Favorite Food - In
terms of total mouth time, Lauren's favorite food would have to be the two
middle fingers on her left hand. In hindsight, we should have talked her out of
her favorite, hungry-time and sleepy-time finger food, but, at the time it
seemed like a good idea to condone the behavior since it settled her down and
also told us when a meal was in order. However, it now means that she has her
Daddy's overbite (which I had at birth even before I had teeth) and will
certainly be facing a mouth full of braces like her Dad had. Actually, when her
Mom told her to take her fingers out of her mouth because she was a big girl,
she did so right away, and said, "Oh, I forgot again" When she was given a new
doll, she took one hand of the doll and shoved it towards the doll's mouth,
saying, "suck on your fingers." Anyway, when fingers won't do the trick, she's
real keen on chocolate. Giving her chocolate is one surefire way to get
Lauren's special....
Look of Love - Back when she was
about 6 months old, infant Lauren looked up from Daddy's lap and, with barely a
change in her expression, gave me a look so full of love and trust that my heart
just melted. At age two, I told her the story of that lap look and asked
Lauren if she remembered what I called, "The Look of Love" Without any
hesitation, Lauren looked up at me and lifted both eyebrows in a hilarious,
mocking expression that seemed to indicate she really did remember the initial
event. Every since then, the sh*t-eating grin we now call "The Look of Love"
has been an important component from Lauren bag of tricks. Speaking of Trix...
What's for breakfast - One of
Lauren's first words, "oatmeal" came out pronounced as "ao miao" the name of a
detergent in China. Now, just try to picture Grandma Li trying to figure out
why her toddler granddaughter wants detergent for her morning meal. Just as my
Mom learned "niao niao", Lauren's Grandma Li knows to head for the cereal closet
when Lauren asks for detergent. I haven't been talking very much about Lauren's
Mom because as everyone who has seen her knows, Lauren is a ....
Cloned Baby - It was only when
Lauren was born that I realized what I look like. Lauren is a carbon copy. So
much so that when I told the bank teller that Lauren was a successful cloning
experiment, she immediately accepted the idea without question. More than once,
restaurant waitresses have asked where the baby's Mother is since she looks so
much like me and I'm always sitting with a table of Chinese females none of
which could possibly have given birth to such a Western looking baby. At that
point, Fatima usually answers that the baby's Mom is in the back washing dishes,
and the more clever of the waitresses figures out that Lauren's Mom is sitting
on the other side of the baby's highchair from me. Further to the cloning
issue, other than her gender, the only resemblance to her Mom was Lauren's long
and slender fingernails. However, in an amazing metamorphosis, her fingernails
have now changed to Daddy's short round ones. And, it's not her only rounding
ability...
Lauren's O-Kisses - What a
special day it was which I asked Lauren to give me a kiss, and she did it.
Lauren's idea of a kiss at that time was to form her entire mouth into a big "O"
so, we always asked her for O-Kisses. She has not abandoned O-kisses for tongue
kisses, which only her Mom and Dad seem to like to share with her. My other
favorite kiss, which my Mom thought was a simian reference since she only heard
it pronounced, not written, was my special guerrilla kisses, so-named because
I'd sneak up behind Lauren and plant them on the top of her head. She really
earned them during our travels...
Lauren's Frequent Flyer -
Including once in the womb, Lauren has now made the 16 hour trans-pacific flight
5 times. In fact, in one case, it was a 3AM arrival, 24-hour marathon because
we missed our connection while I tried to get two adults, a baby, a stroller and
a computer through San Francisco airport security. She has now made each
journey with an astounding record of never emitting a cry, a shriek or even a
vague look of discontent. I thought her record would be broken when she smashed
her fingers in the tray table on this last trip, but she looked up at me, and
just went back to disrupting my movie viewing by clawing at the touch screen.
The second time I thought she had just cause for an outburst was during our most
recent landing at Newark Airport in the midst of a big windstorm. Though not
the wing-scraping adventure that German plane had, we were swinging around
pretty wildly and, normally happy flier Fatima, used her flight-sickness bag
with such gusto moments before landing, that I'm sure the whole plane, upon
hearing it, wanted to join her. Lauren just put this resolute look on her face
as she sat in my lap and brought the plane in for a terror-ending landing.
Later, when putting our luggage in the car, the wind actually blew the trunk
closed. As stated Lauren is the most amazing...
Non-crying baby - From the time
she was born until the age of 20 months, Lauren has been the happiest, most
contented baby anyone could ask for. However, fearing that she wasn't getting
enough education from her parents and grandparents, we decided to enroll her in
a local nursery school which serves many of the Chinese and Foreigners that live
in our apartment complex. Well, the only thing that it appears that Lauren
learned from that experience was... how to cry. Before then, I would actually
point out crying infants to her and say, "Lauren, that's called crying, it's not
something you do" Well, she has now learned the 100 decibel Call of the Wild
when she doesn't get what she wants, but for the most part, she uses it only
sparingly. Because Lauren was always so happy and contented early on and
because a local friend of ours has a hearing-impaired child, (perhaps because
the friend went into her chemical-laden apartment during renovation) I really
wanted to have Lauren get a ....
Hearing Test - We took Lauren
for an overall check-up at the local children's hospital when she was a few
month's old. As part of the exam, the doctor took a very loud set of hand bells
and moved it around from ear to ear behind Lauren's head as she lay flat.
During the ten seconds of loud bell ringing, Lauren didn't move a muscle or
twitch an eyelash, leading me to be even more concerned. Instead, the doctor
looked up and pronounced Lauren's hearing perfectly normal. I have no idea what
she based it on, but soon enough Lauren's cringe from a wind-blown door slam
that she couldn't possibly have seen confirmed for me that the doctor was
correct. And, when it was time for another Doctor visit...
Lauren's Inoculation - It is
possible to get Lauren to cry when she is jabbed with those pointy vaccination
needles. As you can see from the photos enclosed, she looked like Lee Harvey
Oswald getting offed by Jack Ruby during one of the needle jams. Just after
this, the Doctor came at her with the sugar cube polio vaccine. Lauren, still
reeling from the shot and not willing to trust the Nurse with any more attacks,
did a great job kicking the cup out of the Nurse's hand with a deft
counter-offensive maneuver. We did get the 2nd attempt into her. Being a Dad
can be tough on days like that, but then there are days like ...
Lauren's First Listening Comprehension
Result - At the age of only four months, Lauren couldn't have picked a
better day than Father's Day to prove that she understood what was being said to
her. The whole Chinese family was posing for a picture outside our apartment
when I asked everyone to smile for the photo. The first one to put on the grin
was Lauren. While it wasn't the Look of Love, it was clearly a result of being
asked to smile and the moment was caught on film, along with a bit of dribble
coming out of her mouth (check the lower, middle Baby Birth montage picture.)
And, just to make sure I would treat every day as Father's Day, Lauren proved
how important my attention to her was during...
The Taco Salad Incident - Having
gotten home late and starved, I made myself a big bowl of taco salad and was
busy eating it while watching CNN or some other biased, anti-Chinese network. I
became aware via peripheral vision that Lauren was looking at me so I glanced
over and went back to my taco salad. Since she was still looking at me, I
glanced over again and went back to the TV. Another 10 seconds passed, and then
the baby that doesn't cry, started to cry. It was clear that she needed a hug
from Daddy and she got one right away. She also does have a bit of cry when
turning on...
The Mommy Beacon - So named,
because Lauren sends out the signal, "I want Mommy, I want Mommy, I want Mommy"
uninterrupted for minutes at a time. Once I took her out in her stroller and
she put on the Mommy beacon for 5 minutes before finally settling down. After a
while I began singing a favorite song to her, "5 little monkeys, jumping on the
bed, one fell down and bumped his head, Mommy called the doctor,
and....oops...."I want Mommy, I want Mommy, I want Mommy" started all over
again. We went home pretty quickly after that, however,...
In Conclusion - Lauren has spent
the last thirty minutes keeping herself quietly amused with her Mom's jewelry
though I now look over and see a pile of glass beads that used to be a
necklace. Actually, I think the necklace broke a long time ago and what a
delight to have a baby who can stay out of trouble even with a Fatima's jewelry
box of temptations to test her. When the story continues, Lauren will have a
bicycle and we'll see where that takes us. Lauren already knows that kisses
make boo-boos better.
Keep in touch,
Larry
October 5th, 2008 - Larry writes about the oympics:
As promised, the Olympic Saga, and some Lauren stories for dessert.
Hotter than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive: the
former was my plane flight from Shenzhen to
Hockey Field of Dreams - With the only ice in Beijing tinkling around in
my dinner glass (this, in and of itself, is a Great Leap Forward from my arrival
in Beijing in 1988) hockey fan Boy Larry opted to get Olympic Field Hockey
tickets instead. Now, should I cheer for
You can dress him up, and there's one who'll fool you every day - While I
only found out later, it turns out my Shenzhen tennis partner, who had also
flown to
They won't let us Fake it, so I'll Make it - I was looking forward to
previous years bounty of fake Olympic Uniforms so that I could bask in the glory
of
Easy Come, Easy Go, Ah So! My next Olympic event was
Slice it, Fry It, Take it Home after Buying it, It's really an ideal steal
(for it's manufacturer!) Magilla Gorilla references aside, before the game,
I did buy an official, Adidas Olympic jacket, which, at US$100, only provided a
1200% profit to it's maker. Bought a size XL, tight in the body, but the
sleeves were just right. Then spent the next two weeks trying to find an XXL
to exchange or as an additional purchase. Traveled all over
Out of the Mouths of Babes and, into my Mouth - I was thirsty after the
softball game and went to the Softball Field concession stand to get a drink.
While waiting for it, I overheard two of the beverage sellers, obviously
underpaid or volunteer students conscripted for this work, complaining that
their university was going to be fined because they failed to meet their
beverage quota that morning. (It was cold and rainy, and at 9AM, it's easy to
understand why it was, 'hard to sell the world a Coke') When I pressed them to
confirm for me that their Physics Department was going to be eliminated (my
embellishment) because they hadn't sold enough American soft drinks, they
suddenly clammed up and, the State Secret I may have discovered, was left
hanging there in awkward silence.
If you can't find a State Secret with investigative journalism, then make
them up - While scanning various Olympic news, I came upon a joint Time
Magazine/CNN web article stating that there were no fresh vegetables available
to
National Stadium, no, Bird's Nest - Even local Chinese don't call it by
its official name and refer to the new symbol of Modern Beijing by it's avian
nickname. (Though sometimes we also call it Nestle by mistake, since the
Chinese name of the biggest tea maker in
Olympic Green, McDonalds Red and Yellow - One would think a trip to the
Beijing Olympics would be a good chance to sample Chinese cuisine. It's true,
you could have any Chinese food you wanted inside the main Olympic Green venue
area, assuming it was MaiDonLao - McDonald's. As far as I could tell, there was
no other choice for a sit down meal in the entire kazillion hectare site. After
paying hundreds of millions of dollars to sponsor the event, there was no way
McDonalds was going to lose out to Kung Pao Chicken. A friends nephew was
working at the McDonalds in the Athlete's Village. His pay, US$4 a day, the
daily revenue at that one McDonalds, US$600,000. Also, on the Olympic Green
site was the so-called SuperStore. However, it was ringed by a SuperLine.
Avoiding the two hour wait to get in, and the SuperCollider interactions of
standing in that line, was an easy choice, especially since all the Olympic
merchandise looked pretty much the same. I did get my ration of Peking Duck,
and, it's finally happened, Peking Duck now costs more in Peking than in the
A tisket, a tasket, look there's another fluffy Mascot - Now how smart was
that. Why pick one mascot to represent your Olympics when you could put five in
the box and overcharge for every one of them. The interesting sub-plot was the
curse of the Olympic mascots. Without going into all the details, it turns out
every mascot 'caused' a man-made or natural disaster that befell
When Pentathlon became Triathlon - Pentathlon, five events, right? Despite
my entreaties not to be left off at the main entrance gate of the Olympic Green,
that's exactly where I was deposited by a friend's car on the morning of the
all-day Modern Pentathlon. The demanding but ultimately comforting security
check, consisting of electronic scanning of your Olympic tickets, all bags
X-Rayed, all people metal-detected, and all liquids drank on the spot and
cigarette lighters disposed of, meant the lines were oh so long, and not so
quick. Got into the Pentathlon Arena just as people were streaming out. Turns
out I had already missed the entire shooting competition, one down, four to go.
The next event was the Fencing, in the same venue. It was an 18-ring circus of
36 competitors facing off (with their faces inside masks) in a round robin. The
excitement was building because a Chinese competitor was working his way up the
rankings and with every victory, he ripped off his mask and give a spirited
first pump. With him finishing near the top, the morning events concluded.
Don't Believe Everything Everyone Tells You - Decided to walk around the
Olympic Green and take some more photos before heading to the
You want me to do what? - At least that's how I would react if I were a
horse, met my new rider for the first time in my life, and that rider asked me
to jump over gates looking like the Great Wall. (In fact, one was modeled after
the Great Wall.) The first equestrian competitor in the Pentathlon, perhaps in
last place for a reason, was no better at horsing around than shooting, fencing
or swimming. His horse balked twice at each of three successive gates and time
ran out for a total equestrian score of '0' He actually fared better than some
of his fellow competitors, whose horses stopped just short of the gate and threw
their riders right out of the saddle. One rather unpatriotic horse, actually
barreled right into the Great Wall, got hooked on the heavy cardboard
construction, and fell backwards awkwardly destroying the wall and not doing his
rider very much good either. It was a rainy evening, had been a rainy day, and
I'm sure the combination of slow track, inexperienced riders, and last minute
pairings made for some difficult conditions. The crowd was asked to remain
silent, a difficult task when watching the events unfold, until the leading
Chinese rider came out for his run. At that point, the place fell completely
silent, and Mr. Qian Zhen Hua held on to his 2nd place position awaiting the
final event, the 3000 meters.
Southside Zhenny - I just want to go home - After changing out of their
stiff, equestrian clothes, the athletes appeared again for their evening run.
The way the Pentathlon works, each athlete builds up points/time and then the
athletes are released onto the 3000 meter course at intervals representing the
time they need to make up to achieve a certain final position. So, the 2004
Culture Club - While it didn't start out that way, one of my days in
Monkey See, Monkey Do, Monkey Splat - While at the lecture, I was
introduced to a music professor who immediately offered me tickets for the
evening performance of Sun Wu Kong, the fabled Monkey King Chinese Opera, that
is more acrobatics than opera. The first few seconds of the performance had a
performer scrambling up three stacked chairs, and what clearly looked like a
misplaced foot plant from my first row balcony seat, sent him rumble tumble,
roly poly, pell mell (sorry, I've been reading The Poky Little Puppies to Lauren
too many times) flat on his back to the wooden stage. He got up a little dazed
and scampered back up the chairs, this time without the backwards, double
somersault in the pike position. (Even culture day gets some inspiration from
the Olympics.) The performance was colorful and fun, though clearly the text
had been updated, when the Prince, suffering the temptations of a Journey to the
West stop in the Land of Women, remarks, 'hmmm, the woman here certainly are
open-minded' a term made popular in China during the 80's to describe woman who
had liberated themselves from the shackles of prudish, post-1949 Liberated
China.
When Home is no longer Home - Perhaps the biggest change in
And Neglect is no longer Neglect - Well north of where I used to live in
Beijing is a former, no-mans land called 'Beautiful Water Bridge' We used to
call this misnamed area, 'The place that no one cared about' because it
consisted of a narrow rickety bridge over a garbage filled stream, daily traffic
jams and human detritus that stubbornly refused to make progress despite strides
being made in other areas of the city. Not anymore, it's now a new, modern
bridge with multi-level overpasses, a brand new subway line and station,
supplying a warren of gleaming high-rises and multi-story shopping centers.
Somebody, obviously did care about this place - the
All good things must end, with a bang! As you can tell, I had a great
time during my stay in
Homeward Bound, I wish I was - Well, not really, but the Olympics were
over and it was time to go home and see how big Lauren had gotten in my
absence. Did spend another 10 days in
Can't warp the Space-Time Continuum - Courtesy of my NJ-based Slingbox
Player, Lauren and I were watching the Disney Channel together here in
Lauren's cure for the banking crisis - After a few hours together in our
apartment complex swimming pool, Lauren and I were going home when she asked to
be taken to the Rocking Car ride that is like opium for two year olds. For
anti-theft reasons, I didn't bring any money to the pool and so I had to tell
Lauren that she couldn't go on the ride because I didn't have any money. Lauren
looked at me and said, 'go buy some money!' Later that night when I was
repeating the story to her so that she could understand what had transpired, I
think she actually did think about it, and gave a little chuckle, like, 'what
was I thinking' Or, perhaps I'm giving her more credit than she deserves, like
a bank.
