Noah and Alicia's Wedding


So, we headed for Noah and Alicia's wedding  in Sun Valley, Idaho, by flying to San Diego.

Let's leave that for a minute, because I know it's vaguely confusing, and talk about the picture above, the sun streaming through the clouds like it's the second coming.  That's also vaguely confusing.  The second coming, I mean.  I used the phrase, then I thought, "what does that really mean?"  And I found this on wikipedia:

The Greek New Testament uses the Greek term parousia (παρουσία, meaning "arrival", "coming", or "presence") twenty-four times, seventeen of them concerning Christ. However, parousia has the distinct reference to a period of time rather than an instance in time. At Matthew 24:37 parousia is used to clearly describe the period of time that Noah lived. The Greek word eleusis which means "coming" is not interchangeable with parousia. So this parousia or "presence" would be unique and distinct from anything that had occurred before. The word is also used six times referring to individuals  and one time referring to the "coming of the lawless one."

The coming of the lawless one really struck home, you know what I mean?

So, is it just me, or is this religion thing a lot more confusing than you'd think? I could go into the seven hundred and forty something deities of one sect of the Buddhist religion, but that's just adding bourbon to the campfire. So let's move on.

You might be thinking, "My God, this is amazing, Dave is pealing back the layers, revealing hidden truths, unveiling secrets man was not meant to know until Wikipedia arrived on the scene." Or you might be thinking, "Dave's had one too many martinis."

That second bit is probably a little closer to the truth.

But back on topic. Right. Sun, streaming through the clouds like... wait, been there, done that. The point is, it's the beginning and the end. That photo is from driving back from Sun Valley. The trick to the photo, however, is not where we were going, but who was driving. I drove most of the way too Sun Valley, and Alison drove most of the way back, so I didn't get the shot of the sun streaming through the clouds on the way there, but I did get it on the way back, and it really was amazing, visually spectacular, like nothing I've seen before.

And (a little bit of foreshadowing here) it was the perfect setup for the most perfect wedding I've ever experienced (told you).  Although, for the actual photo, it as after-foreshadowing, since it was on the return trip, which, of course, I think you'd have to admit is a lot easier than fore-foreshadowing.

Where were we?  Right.  The return trip to San Diego.

Which is where we started.

We flew into San Diego and Paul, Alison's dad, picked us up at the airport. The general idea was, Paul and Carol wanted to go to the wedding, but Carol has gotten a little iffy on flying. So we flew to San Diego in order to drive them out to Sun Valley, which is 14 hours as the crow flies.

I'm mixing metaphors there, but just in case you are wondering, wikipedia says this:

According to BBC Focus, "'As the crow flies' is a pretty common saying but it isn't particularly accurate".  Crows do not swoop in the air like swallows or starlings, but they often circle above their nests.  Crows do conspicuously fly alone across open country, but neither crows nor bees (as in “beeline”) fly in particularly straight lines.  Before modern navigational methods were introduced, crows were kept upon ships and released when land was sought. Crows instinctively fly towards land.

Which is fascinating. who knew that? Instinctive land flying is a fairly advanced trait, all things considered.  And, I'm sure you're thinking, "clearly, so is telling a coherent story."

Fine.  We left San Diego in Paul's very packed Porsche Cayenne.  The Cayenne is a fairly standard SUV, except it has four hundred and seventy three different buttons, levers, sliders, knobs, and other less obvious controls.  One of which, I was told, unfolds wings and turns it into a four seater aircraft.  Otherwise, a perfectly normal SUV.

Unless, that is, you're passing people at around 110 miles an hour, when it becomes a PORSCHE SUV because it seems pretty pedestrian; no rattling parts, no screaming engine, no vibration from the tires.  It just goes faster. Doing 110 miles per hour happened a lot more frequently than you might think, since the speed limit was 80 and there was a whole lot of straight, you-can-see-for-miles kind of highway.  So you would pass someone who was doing 78 or so, and then forget to let up on the gas for the next hundred miles.

An easy mistake to make.

Even with the speed, it was a two day trip.  We stopped in "Ely" (which is a pseudonym for "nowhere") Nevada. Or Idaho, or maybe Montana, it's a little hard to tell those states apart when you're passing through, since they are basically all pretty full of nothing but nature, and nature, as it turns out, looks pretty much the same everywhere in the north country.

We had dinner, which was much more challenging than you would think, because Ely (aka Nowhere) had a number of highly rated dinner spots, like the downtown Denny's, which was, somehow not shocking located in a casino and populated by zombies (that's a guess, we didn't actually venture in).  We settled for "family pizza," which seemed reasonable until the day after (more foreshadowing, except I'm not going to go into detail on that particular bit of the story, so you will have to use your imagination).

Day two, we arrived. We'd rented the Harriman Cottage, pictured below. It does kind of look like a cottage on the outside, but inside, due to some odd folding of the space-time continuum, it's GINORMUS. On the inside, it's the Harriman PALACE with five bedrooms, a huge kitchen, and massive family room.


The Harriman Cottage

The wedding was two days out, which left time for hanging out with people as they started to arrive. We had a little impromptu get together in the Sun Valley Lodge that evening after driving over and picking up Maddy and Heidi at the local airport (Noah, Alicia, Randy and Ellen arrived on the same flight, along with many other wedding goers, but had their own car).


Which brings us, a little out of order, to Sun Valley. That's Sun Valley, Idaho, not Sun Valley, Nevada, which does indeed exist, mostly in the hope skiers don't realize the difference and end up in a place with no ski trails but lots of casinos. Wikipedia has this to say about Sun Valley, Idaho:

Sun Valley is a resort town in Idaho. It's known for Sun Valley resort's ski areas at Bald Mountain and nearby Dollar Mountain, the latter with gentler slopes. In summer, the resort has miles of mountain trails, equestrian routes and wildflower-filled meadows. Do not mistake Sun Valley, Nevada for Sun Valley, Idaho. The Nevada version is a hellish landscape of sun baked mud and rock dotted with Casinos who's only visitors are travellers that didn't check their itinerary carefully.

Sun Valley [Idaho] is a little haven of civilization in the midst of a whole lot of why-in-gods-name-would-anyone-live-here?  By "civilization," I mean, of course, "money."  The air is gently scented with the smell of pine trees and crisp dollar bills.  The quaint little stores are full of cashmere, channel No. 5, and jewelry with marble sized diamonds.  The Lodge itself is trendy, but with that rustic, pioneering days look that took dozens of architects and dump-truck-full piles of cash to create.  In the same vein as the Disneyland Castle, you know it's all designed to fool you, but you don't care. It's like stepping back into a simpler, more dignified time, where you're the guy with the monocle in Monopoly.  Except with wifi and outdoor skating rinks which manage to stay solidly icy despite the fact it was like 90 degrees out when we were there. 


There was a ice dancing completion while we were there; pros were practicing all day

The lodge
View from Bald Mountian
The day after we arrived, we had the welcome party, which we hosted at the "cottage."  Most of the guests had arrived by then, and it was great to see everyone. The biggest drama during the entire party was during setup, where there was an animated discussion about where to put the table with the Sun Valley water bottles that were gifts for the guests, in a back corner or where people would be streaming in. 

People mingled.  Paul, Alicia's friend Brie, and Noah's friend Kyle gave speeches;  Paul's was Calvin and Hobbes themed, which was fun.  But mostly, it was mingling with friends and family.

The next day was the rehearsal, which was mostly waiting around for someone to come and say it was over.  Instead of a reception dinner (due to the extensive guest list, number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, brothers, sisters, significant others, the out-of-towners with nothing to else to do (basically everyone) the reception dinner would have been pretty much everyone coming to the wedding) there was a "young persons' party," for those under thirty.  It was at the "bridesmaid's house," which was really bridesmaids and groomsmen without someplace else to stay, but it was as gigantic as the Harriman Cottage, just set up with bunk rooms to hold a lot more people.



The traditional rehearsal, where everyone mills around and gets told "you'll know what to do."

The young-people's party went well, despite a certain laissez-faire planning aspect to it, as evidenced by the following overheard conversation when I and Will were at the supermarket picking up some supplies for him:

Will, on cell phone:  "Ya, Katie, I can pick up some band aids, no problem."
[unheard reply]
Will:  "Sure.  What?  Conner's picking up the wine and beer for the party?  Great, great."
[unheard reply]
Will:  "Boise?  He's in Boise?  Looking for the Costco?  Boise is like, three hours from here."
[unheard reply]
Will:  "The party starts in an hour.  I'm just not..."
Me (tapping Will on the shoulder):  "Tell them we'll bring wine and beer."

I dropped Will off at the bridesmaid's cottage with the wine and beer and left, despite several invitations to stay because I was "cool," which I appreciated but interpreted as "thanks for the beer and wine" rather than "you're under thirty."

Which brings us to...


The wedding.  This was the most picture-perfect wedding...well, ever.  That may seem like one of those things you say when you're talking about a wedding, but in this case, I really mean it.  At the center of the affair were, of course, Noah and Alicia, who are, I think, the cutest couple on the planet.  The bridesmaids were gorgeous in their cream colored dresses, the groomsmen handsome in black tuxedos, the best woman (Maddy) lighting things up with her brilliant smile.  The flowers were stunning, the weather perfect.  The ceremony included a number of Alicia's USC friends, who were professional dancers and actors, and who did readings in English and Hebrew (and later cut up the dance floor like nothing doing at the reception).  There was the insanely cute flower girl. 

It was, in a word, perfect.

The Reception was every bit as glamorous.  From the gold chargers under the china to the towering floral arrangements (suspended on top of clear glass tubes to prevent blocking anyone's view), it was a visually stunning, enchanting setting for a mix of old and young guest to celebrate the event.  Alison gave a poignant speech (which you can see by clicking the button below), along with others by Randy, Maddy and Heidi. 

Good evening everyone.  Welcome!  It’s so wonderful to have everyone gathered here, friends and family, for this event.  Thank you so much for coming!

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Alison, Alicia’s very, very proud new mother-in-law.

I’d like to take a moment right now to think about the people we love who couldn’t be here tonight.  As many of you know, Noah’s father, Jeff Stern, passed away six years ago, at the age of 52, from cancer.  And Jeff isn’t the only person from Noah’s family who passed away too soon.  Noah’s Uncle Lew, who died 10 years ago at the age of only 45, from cancer.  His Grandma Debby, his Grandpa Bob, from his extended family his Aunt Eva and cousin Doug, so many people we loved aren’t here to celebrate with us.  And most particularly, my father’s brother, my Uncle Dave, who passed away last year.  His wife, Sonja, is here tonight.  Yesterday would have been their 62nd wedding anniversary.  Many of you, too, have people you wish were here, who aren’t. 

If Noah’s dad, Jeff, was here in person, he would have joyfully greeted everyone, cried during the ceremony, laughed all through the cocktail hour, have broken at least 2 glasses by now and spilled wine on somebody.  Before and after the wedding he would have played card games, euchre (shout out to the Michigan people!), and board games, inviting everyone to participate.  He would have gone swimming in the pool with his cousin Lily’s kids.  Jeff was a terrible dancer but he loved dancing.  This dance floor?  It would have been too small for him because Jeff always created an 8 foot radius around him as he danced because he cartwheeled his arms with abandon.    And he absolutely would have been on this checkered dance floor, creating that 8 foot radius but inviting everyone to join him. 

The other thing about Noah’s dad?  Jeff couldn’t tell a joke to save his life.  Every time that punch line cam walking on up, he always, always, always started laughing so hard, with his eyes crinkled up and shoulders shaking, that he couldn’t get it out. Then you would start laughing because he was laughing, and the punch line was always garbled but no one cared.  Nevertheless, Jeff would have stood up, right now, with happy tears in his eyes to lead a toast to his son and new daughter-in-law.  He would have opened with his favorite joke, one he first heard 30 years ago from his best friend Dave Dickie.  Dave is also here tonight, and he is now my husband (but that’s a story for another time). 

Jeff told this joke often over the years, laughing with crinkled eyes every time.  It’s an oldie but a goodie that most of you probably already know, so please bear with me.  Here goes.  A group of Vikings go into a bar and start drinking.  They order the first round, raise their glasses. ‘SKOL”, then they drink.  Another round comes, and again “SKOL,” then drink. The third round comes, “SKOL.”  At that point, one of the Vikings slams their mug down, glares at the other Vikings and says, “are we here to talk or to drink?’

Jeff loved life.  He embodied life.  I don’t know where Jeff, or any of the people we have loved and lost, are now the great multiverse, but I do know this:  They are in our hearts.  They are watching right now, celebrating with us, bursting with pride and joy and love as they cheer on Noah and Alicia in their new life together. 

In Judaism there is a phrase, “l’chaim,” which means “to life.”  Whether your toast is Skol or L’chaim, or you just like to go straight to drinking, please join me and raise your glasses in honor of Noah, Alicia, and everyone we love and let us all say :  l’chaim!  And again!  L’chaim!



The next day, there was a breakfast at Grumpy's, one of Alicia's favorite apres-ski paces in the town proper.

Afterwards, there were dinners and hanging out in the pool and generally trying to take it easy after a day of celebration and drinking.

The drive home had it's own interesting situations, but we'll leave that for another time ( / newsletter).